spinning into spring


ephemeralgecko44monday.jpg

A few days past the Equinox – whichever hemisphere you’re reading this from  – we’ve all just tipped a balance of seasons.

ephemeralgecko45monday.jpg

I’m typing to you from the north, so my days are now eversoslightly longer then my nights.

ephemeralgecko61monday.jpg

Which makes me glad.

It suits my intermittent insomniac tendencies – if it isn’t cold and dark when I wake up my days are more likely to begin earlier – and in turn rebalance my days and nights into natural circadian rhythms. (Until next time…)

ephemeralgecko47monday.jpg

Last week my sleep was completely unsettled.

Beginning with the night I had all the nightmares that children get where beasties and monsters are chewing my feet. And my tired mind forgets it’s just a dream and refuses to go back there just in case.

ephemeralgecko61monday.jpg

Popular science de jour supports the belief that missed sleeps can’t exactly be repaid at a later date, and rather than try to catch up, it’s better to enforce a bed time and wake time, forcing the body to comply. Good sleep hygiene. All that stuff.

ephemeralgecko62monday.jpg

I’ve tried that.

ephemeralgecko60monday.jpg

The obstinate donkey that runs my brain doesn’t like that game, so won’t play.

ephemeralgecko46monday.jpg

We (me & donkeybrain) have to lay there all restless and thinky for a long time when we try this. Unmedicated early nights are effective only when preceded by some fairly appalling regard to rest for a good few days by way of a build up. Even the donkey doesn’t think that’s wise.

ephemeralgecko51monday.jpg

If I do get to sleep by my ideal of 11pm I fall into what feels like a deliciously deep, eight hour, dream fuelled, well rested  slumber. Mmmmmm…

ephemeralgecko63monday.jpg

But in reality turns out to have lasted just 90 minutes or so.

ephemeralgecko65monday.jpg

And is followed by any combination of thinky/over-thinky/wide-awake/best-ideas-ever-just-not-quite-awake-enough-to-write-down-or-record-somehow/what-the-crazies-was-that-dream-meant-to-be-about?…………….

I mean – it’s rarely worrisome thoughts – I’m not that ball of anxiety (had that in previous chapters, thankfully free of that now). So it could be worse.

I say to myself: Shush, it will be morning soon, you just need to shush back to sleep for a little while til then… continually for 5-6 hours before another 90 min nap.

ephemeralgecko48monday.jpg

Last week I had two consecutive nights on just scraps of rest and a few really busy days with a lot of fresh air and walking. So that should be an effective reset, right?

ephemeralgecko66monday.jpg

Then the weekend was almost totally filled up with sleep.

ephemeralgecko64monday.jpg

Like the rest of my life, I think I’m probably quite well balanced on average – but looking at individual episodes I’m mostly to be found on the outer edges of everything.

ephemeralgecko67monday.jpg

There we are. 

ephemeralgecko68monday.jpg

This isn’t me, but she can be my representative in this tale of chaos. Standing there in her mismatched legs, holding onto her head (keeping the donkey in – he has his uses) and leaning – all casual like –  against the one edge of this so called reality. Just for now.

 

 

Parallelity 35/52


Have you used these pens? Pilot Parallel Pens.  I love them.
They aren’t only beautiful to write and draw with, but there’s magic you can do if you have more than one and different colored ink. I got these years ago and they’d drifted to the back of my repertoire for a long while. It was a strong sense of no idea what to do that made me remember them again this week.
IMG_5712  IMG_5713

I’m not a calligrapher in the real sense, but I love to play.
Have you seen Denise Lach’s art? This is my kind of calligr-drawing-joy

img268

…………….And so the doodling commenced.

sleep

If there was one overriding theme of this week it was sleep. I’ve never been so tired. The culmination of some health stuff, some worry-based stuff, and some ongoing insomnia-based stuff all collided and my body made the unilateral decision that the only thing it was going to properly do was sleep.

IMG_5719

Long heavy nights of it and small naps of it in the intervening day times when circumstance permitted. The bits of the week that weren’t spent sleeping were spent in blinky incoherence.

IMG_5714

(tbh, this week hasn’t been so different.)

IMG_5720

So much time in sleep  means more crossover than usual between the waking and the dreaming realities.

IMG_5718

Episodes of dream can manifest the mundane, and the awake-world does something crazy and surreal.

IMG_5716

And the two places overlap and get muddled.

IMG_5717

It’s a big jambled thing, and although there wasn’t an intent, this illustrates it pretty much as it was.

IMG_5715

Worlds in Parallel.

Water In Parallel (part 5)


The ongoing story of the two paintings about Water bumbles on… collage on top of painting on top of collage.

Next? Next came more painting!

I love the stuff that going on here, it’s expressing the watery vibe I want it too. But there’s a lot of it with no central focus. It’s uncoordinated jazz that needs summoning together into something more melodious.

IMG_4025

Blocking out bigger areas in white was the best way I could find to start this stage of the process.

IMG_4026

Then I got thinking about ripples….

IMG_4038 IMG_4036 IMG_4035

I’m really nearly done on this now. I’ve got some more pulling together to do – and I know just what (I’ll show you next post). This came to me in place of sleep last night. Insomnia is a double edged phenomena: it leads to tiredness and inconvenience, but it also provides the space for thoughts that just don’t seem to have room to surface in the bustle of daytime.